To those of you that know me in real life, and even those of you that don't, thanks for sticking around. If you're reading this because you actually visited my page, you are some kind of wonderful. If you're reading this just because I popped up in your Google Reader, even better for not just hitting "Mark All As Read".
No one wants to hear the constant whining of "I hate my job", I miss my brother, I wish my mom was here, life is stressful, blah, blah, blah. And right now - those are 99% of the thoughts that run through my head. I'm working really hard to find something positive every day - and maybe that will lead this blog somewhere, and maybe it will lead me to Total Wine. Who knows?
I have incredible hope that 2013 will be "our year" for Kevin and I, but we're already on the 100th day of this year, and it's not "our year" quite yet. After the heart breaking, gut wrenching, sadness live we've never known before - somehow we made it through 2011 and 2012 and I am still standing, breathing, and loving. So while I know this is asking a lot, could you keep your fingers crossed for me pretty please? There are so few things I really, truly, want to happen this year - so here's my short list. If you're prayer inclined, send 'em my way. If you're not, maybe you'll think of us when you see a soldier, here, safe at home.
My Wishes for 2013 - Our Year
1. Find closure with the loss of Mom. If that means a tattoo, a weekly appt with a professional, or a whole lot of wine - find my own healing. This is the most difficult for me to write down, and I fear, the most difficult to bring to actuality.
2. Bring Christopher home safe and happy. The happy is the only thing I have any control over - the safe thing is the one that worries me the most. Silly boxes from the Dollar Tree help make my big sister heart happy, and bringing a little of the six-one-oh to Afghanistan is all I can do to support him right now. Stick with that, and remind him how much we love him. Oh, and throw one hell of a party when he gets home.
3. Our own home. This one has been a long time in the making, and a dream we've been holding onto and working towards since that party in 2005 (even if we didn't know exactly where it would lead us). I owe so much of my survival through the last two years to K, and know that finding a home that is a great fit for both of us is at the top of our list.
4. Friendships - These ever evolving relationships are a challenge, and I know it will take hard work to maintain those I have already and develop new ones this year. Supporting my friends through the changes that are to come this year (some they don't even know are coming yet) will bring us all to new places.
Love & Hugs
P.S. I actually have another post for tomorrow (crazy, right) with some thank-yous to the people that keep me smiling, in both real life and the internet world. So for real, come back now, ya hear?